Don't Let Go
by Lynn DiNozzo
Summary: What if Ziva was trying to tell Tony she was pregnant right before the car crash in "Berlin"? This is what could have happened... This is a collaboration with my friend Jessica! She made the video and I wrote the story! Read first, watch second! (find her video on her youtube page: ttiva1)


_A/N: Like I said in the desc. this is a project done with my great friend Jessica, ( wowjessicar)! She made the video and I made the story. It's the same plot-line we just thought it would be fun to do a story and a video so you'd be able to read AND see the whole story come to life. We hope you enjoy this! Please comment on her video and review on my story to tell us what you thought! Enjoy! ~Lynn D._

* * *

Ziva sat impatiently on the cold metal table waiting for her doctor to come in so her yearly check-up would be over with and she could go back to work and hopefully make it in time to finish the second half of the work day strong. After waiting another long, boring ten minutes, a knock on the door broke Ziva out of her mindless daydreams and she sat straight up, resuming her Mossad stance.

Her doctor, Susan Gable, a shorter woman with shoulder-length brown hair, came through the door and sat down on a stool as she exchanged pleasantries with the agent. "Ziva, it's good to see you again! How have you been feeling?"

Susan had been Ziva's doctor ever since she became a permanent NCIS agent and the two had grown a special bond very quickly. For some reason, it was easy for Ziva to open up to this woman. She didn't know if it was because she had been violently pulled apart from the only women in her life, but she did know that she was very thankful for her.

Ziva looked down briefly, almost examining herself to try and remember really just how she was doing. "As good as a person who puts her life in danger every day could be, I suppose."

Nodding, Susan continued. "Has anything been bothering you?"

"Not that I can think of. We've had a pretty heavy caseload these past few weeks so I've been a bit sore. It is nothing to worry about."

"That's good to hear. There haven't been many check-ups that you haven't had something broken, sprained, or strained."

Ziva let a smile cross her face as she let her shoulders relax. "It has been a good year. For my health, that is."

Susan turned a page on her chart then looked back to the agent. "When was your last period?"

Ziva ran a hand over her half up, half down hair then let out a worried breath. "It has been nearly two months now. They have been late before but never this late," she admitted.

A serious expression crossed the doctor's face. "Could you be pregnant?"

The soft expression that was on Ziva's face soon stiffened and she flashed back to the time after her father's death. Tony had come over to her apartment with a marathon of movies, complete with popcorn. He wanted to be there for Ziva, he wanted to care for her—worried how she would take everything.

Tony knew she wasn't very close with Eli but nonetheless, he was still her father. As they sat on the couch, watching an old Hitchcock film, Ziva rested her head on Tony's chest and the rest soon became history. Some would have called it a "time of weakness" but the partners would have said it was eight years of emotions coming out all at once.

After a few moments of reminiscing, Ziva nodded her head timidly.

"Okay, dear," Susan said knowingly. "We weren't going to do any tests this year since you did them last year, but this is reason for an exception. Go ahead and take a urine test then we'll get some blood-work done."

Ziva cringed on the inside from the sound of needles but did it anyway without hesitation. As she was getting the lab work done, the thought of being pregnant began to scare her. What was she going to do with a child? She had always loved children but she was an NCIS special agent—other people depended on her, like Tony. With the thought of Tony, she squirmed.

_"What was he going to say? Would he want to be a dad? She knew he'd be a great one but"_—there was always a "but" lingering in her mind.

Ziva had no clue what to think. Maybe she wasn't pregnant. This was probably just her over-reacting. Her mind was known to play tricks on her since she held all of her emotions inside—except for that one night. One night could change everything. Since that night and finding out that they felt the same way, Tony and Ziva were trying to lighten up with each other—maybe even start a relationship. At least that's what she wanted.

She thought back to so many times she wondered if Tony loved her. What he thought of her as a woman and not just as his partner. When she had first come to NCIS, things between them were all sexually based, but over the past few years, especially as they grew, things between them began to become more of an emotional relationship. After eight years of being partners and having their ups and downs together, it wasn't hard to start growing attached to one another.

Spending another twenty minutes on the cold table, waiting for the lab results, Ziva tried to stay as calm and positive as possible. Most women would do anything for a child and now she didn't want one when she had the chance? It was like there were two people in her head debating what to do.

_"Was she actually considering not keeping the baby?"_ No. Of course not, she decided.

Ziva had seen far too many women agents in Mossad that went into undercover missions then came out pregnant then soon getting "rid" of an innocent little life like it was nothing. At least this child that could possibly be inside of her wasn't forced onto her. She had been witness to too many things of that nature and in Somalia, had fallen victim to it more times than she wished to remember.

Minutes began to feel like hours to Ziva as her mind kept attacking her with thousands of scenarios. At one point, she had tried to read a magazine but she just ended up staring at the same page and letting her thoughts run rampant once again. Ziva was soon on high alert when a nurse came in the small room followed by Susan who went over to her with an uncertain smile on her face. "Ziva," she said hesitantly. "The results just came back on your urine analysis. You're pregnant!"

Right then, it felt as if a thousand bricks were toppling onto of her. It was true. She actually had a little life growing inside of her. "Is there any—anything else that needs to be done?" Ziva asked shakily, trying to hold back tears.

"No, not today. You do need to come in to the hospital every month until you are about six months, then it will be every two weeks. I'll have Mindy here make you an appointment," Susan said, gesturing to the nurse right beside her.

Nodding, Ziva followed the nurse into the office and made an appointment with an obstetrician which would be in three weeks, then slipped into a nearby one-stall bathroom. Locking the door behind her, she went over to the sink and leaned on it, trying to support her wobbly legs. After taking a moment to breathe, she ran her hands under the cool stream of water and splashed some on her face. At that moment, everything that had happened today really hit her.

_"Why had she let herself be so vulnerable?"_

She had always been a warrior, someone who never showed her feelings and now the one night that she felt safe and able to relax into someone else's embrace, this happened.

_"I could have been stronger. But then Tony wouldn't know how I feel. Do I even deserve to Tony in my life? No, I don't._ _He is too good for me._"

As her thoughts kept haunting her, Ziva looked into the mirror, letting her own gaze stare back at her, trying to tell herself that this was real and she soon began hating herself so much more.

Tears began to stream down her face. She was so lost in this world of confusion and had no clue what to do or who to lean on, if anyone.

She had to do something about this, begin to prepare for the child that would come into her life within the next seven months. Taking another deep breath, she dried off her face then headed back to work, praying the rest of the day would go quickly.

* * *

During the rest of the workday, Ziva hid behind her desk, very self-conscious about her body since she was due to start showing soon. She did her best to refrain from any eye contact with anyone, especially Tony. It was as if everyone knew what she knew, like she had _"I'm pregnant"_ written in red on her forehead.

That evening when she was finally home, Ziva climbed right into bed and under her covers. The last thing she wanted to do was eat anything. She had been feeling pretty bad the past month and a half and now she knew why. Though not ready to fall asleep, she gladly let the warmth and softness of her bed give her all the comfort that it possibly could. After a while of resting her eyes, she took a notebook and pen off of her bedside table and began mapping out what in the world she was going to do.

Once she had written down a few things she should buy plus a small timetable including doctor appointments, tears began to fall down her cheeks once again. She might know a few things about what she should be doing, but nothing of what to expect. All she wanted was a few minutes with her mother, for her to help and comfort her. She had never forgiven herself for being so cruel to her mom when she was younger and now what she would do just for a few more moments with her. Memories of her childhood soon overtook her then led her into a restless sleep.

As the weeks passed by, she had come close to telling Tony many times but never got up the nerve to do so. He could sense something was off with Ziva, but didn't dare ask. If they were going places in their "relationship" then he didn't want to pry and drive her away. So many times he had wanted her in his life as more than a partner, and now that she was here, there was no way he was going to lose her.

When things with Bodnar began heating up, Ziva's mind was intently focused on other things and she was almost thankful for it. During the days she wasn't haunted with what was facing her, but instead she had a lead to follow, something to keep her mind and body occupied.

She had considered asking Vance for maternity leave since she was beginning to show and her loose shirts weren't going to cover everything up forever, but each time she retreated back to her desk, knowing she needed to tell Tony first.

Ziva soon found herself in need of someone to help her track Bodnar down and had to decide on McGee. Not only were his computer skills stellar but if she ended up being in the same room as Tony something was bound to come out, though she wanted and needed to tell him so badly.

She kept telling herself, _"Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll tell him for sure."_ But after saying that for days, it turned into weeks, then almost a month.

A week later, the partners were on a plane to Berlin and once again Ziva was so close to telling Tony the news that would rock his world.

_"Would it be a good or bad reaction from him?_" That was the question that was holding her back.

It didn't take long for their conversation to lead to talking about her father— choices that had been made, lives that had been changed. So many memories had been coming back to her since she found out she was pregnant, so many regrets and so many things to be thankful for at the same time.

When she was talking with Tony, it was like the most natural thing in the world, like they were meant for each other. They always had amazing chemistry which made their partnership work, so being so scared to tell Tony something he had the right to know was killing Ziva.

Another chance to tell him had come and gone when he had fallen asleep to try and pass the hours for their long flight to Berlin. As she looked out of the plane's window and into the night sky, Ziva promised herself that this trip she would tell him. It was the only thing on her mind and if it didn't come off her chest soon, she felt she would explode.

After the two had arrived in Berlin, they met up with an Israeli contact as well as had a close call with who they thought was Bodnar, but then they soon headed to their hotel.

It felt so good for Ziva to relax for once. Spending time alone with Tony had always relaxed her so she was able to let go and have a little bit of fun in the hotel room. Hanging up his clothes was something else that was just so natural to do.

She was trying to find that note of normalcy and maybe once she hit that note, she'd be more comfortable with telling him. Ziva found that her motherly instinct was beginning to come to the surface when she started babying Tony about taking a nap. She hoped he wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary since she'd always cared for his well-being.

Her heart nearly melted when Tony called himself "her man." Maybe that was a sign he was ready to be in her life as something more now, ready to commit.

When the aspect of going to sleep and having to be separated from Tony came up, she already knew that wasn't going to happen. Reverting to joining Tony where he was beginning to get some rest, she snuggled into the pillow and gazed longingly at the one man she trusted more than anyone else on the face of the earth.

"I cannot sleep," she admitted. Though she was exhausted from many previous sleepless nights this, she was sure, would turn out to be another one.

"Last night, on the plane, you were thinking about your dad," Tony said, still resting his eyes. "What was it?" he asked softly, hoping to get closer to her, emotionally speaking.

"A lot of things," she said thoughtfully.

Tony restfully turned his head towards her then opened his eyes, surveying her features. After a few moments of staring into each other's souls, he tried to comfort her with just words. "We'll get Bodnar tonight."

She took a deep breath then nodded hopefully. "I know."

* * *

With having Tony right next to her, Ziva was able to get some sleep before going back out. As the two were getting dressed to go to the nearby club for what would be somewhat of an undercover op, Ziva looked worriedly into the mirror at the purple dress she was wearing which just barely floated away enough from her body to conceal her rapidly growing belly.

Once the two met by the door after they'd dressed, Ziva lightly shook her head at Tony. Walking over to him, she fixed his crooked tie then he helped her clasp the chunky necklace around her neck. When that was done, they were headed off to the local club.

When they arrived, it didn't take long for them to find places at the bar where they had a good view of the whole room. While Ziva was busy surveying the dimly lit area, Tony ordered them both light martinis to get them through what would be a long night.

"My God, this place looks good on me," Tony said as he paid for their drinks and stood behind Ziva who was sitting down on the bar stool.

After taking a sip of his own drink, he turned back to the crowd. "Anything?"

"Perhaps he works in the back," Ziva theorized, looking for Bodnar.

"Well, a couple more minutes and I'll give myself the tour," Tony said with a Bond accent.

Ziva looked up at Tony and smiled. "Let me guess. Shaken, not stirred."

"Impressive. Since when do you know your Bond?"

"I do not know Bond but I know you," Ziva said, enjoying times like this they shared.

A few moments later, Tony reached behind Ziva then offered her a drink. "To Berlin."

Though taking the drink in hand and thankful for the offer, Ziva knew she wouldn't be able to drink any of it, afraid for the baby.

"Twelve o'clock," she said, spotting their target.

After Tony made another Bond reference and Ziva voiced another theory, waltz music came on just as the target escaped from their sight.

Taking Ziva's drink from her hands and putting it back on the bar behind her, he took her hands gently and pulled her to her feet. "Dance with me."

"What?" At first Ziva was a bit shocked but soon understood what he was doing.

A smile crossed her face as he smiled. "They're playing our song, Sweetcheeks."

It was so easy to melt into his arms and it felt good, at that. She soon remembered, though, that they were on the job and needed to stay focused. The sooner they found Bodnar the sooner she could continue with her family life.

Since they'd already made it to the middle of the dance-floor, Ziva had caught sight of their target once again and tried to get over there as soon as she could.

Tony realized if she kept rushing, they'd be noticed. "You realize you're going to have to be the girl, right?"

"Then you lead."

As they continued searching for certain people in the crowded area, Ziva got overzealous and was spotted. "Damn it Tony, I think he made me."

"Alright," he said calmly. "Stay with me. I've got him." Once a few more moments had passed and Tony had situated them on the dance floor where they wouldn't be suspected, he looked her into her eyes. "Act like you're just with me."

While they shared looks of pure love, Ziva flashed back to a time with her father when she was younger—how they had danced right before he left. She prayed that wouldn't happen with Tony but for some reason, she felt in her heart it wouldn't. The way he looked at her, even though it was undercover, she knew everything would be okay.

As she came out of her flash back, the words of her father echoed through her mind. _"One day you will dance with a man who deserves your love."_

Though their dance was cut short and the target didn't end up being Bodnar after all, they knew it was time to head home and for Ziva, that meant her time to tell Tony and keep her promise to herself was running out.

After the long flight home with Bodnar's brother in their custody then handing him off to the federal marshals at the airport when they'd landed, Tony and Ziva got his car from the airport's parking lot then headed home.

Once the call had come in while they were still driving that transport was complete and the marshals were questioning Yaniff, Ziva opened the bag of diamonds that had been confiscated off of him and put one to her finger, imagining what it would be like looking at it every day in the form of a ring. She hoped that one day Tony would give her that opportunity.

Looking over to Ziva, Tony smiled. "Looks good on you."

"It's funny, things we decide are worth something." Ziva said, lost in thought.

The two soon began discussing her father and how Orli was connected to Eli and the David family. How she had changed Ziva's life so much, and when she was younger, thought had ruined it.

"But now I think," she continued. "She was here for the same reason I went to Berlin… because maybe she loved my father."

As Tony stopped at a red light, he looked over to Ziva who was very fragile—a side of Ziva he'd only seen a few times before.

Wiping a few tears away, she sighed. "I keep thinking that if it was not for Orli, things would have been different. I would be a different person," she concluded with a bittersweet smile, wondering that if she was a different person then she'd never be pregnant—so many things would be different.

Taking a deep breath, Tony turned his head back to Ziva and reached for her hand. "Then I should catch her before she leaves, and thank her." He paused briefly then continued. "I love you, Ziva."

As Tony's warm and comforting hand covered hers with their fingers interlocking, Ziva's heart skipped a beat.

_"What was this man doing? For all the times she had hurt him, he still came back and continued to care for her and still love her. This was the man she wanted and needed in her life. To help care for this baby—to be its father. She wanted someone to come home to at night, to rest her head on after a long day. To help cook dinner, to tell her that her butt looked big in the dress she would wear that night. To share laughs with, to share tears with. To share life with."_

* * *

When Tony began driving with an air of happiness because they were making solid steps in their relationship, Ziva knew it was the perfect opportunity to finally tell him. If she was going to keep her promise to herself, then she had to—she wanted to.

Taking another deep breath, she looked over to him with a smile on her face. "Tony, I—"

After seeing a blinding flash of light, she was abruptly cut off with the full impact of an SUV hitting her side of the car head on. The only thing she could hear was glass shattering, brakes squealing, and Tony desperately yelling her name, praying she was okay—praying she would hang on. Out of instinct, they both had gone to cover each other, to keep them from danger. As partners it was their job, as friends it was instinct, as lovers it was their life.

Suddenly, Ziva felt the car rapidly flipping so she instantly tightened her grasp on Tony's hand and with the other she held tightly to her baby—to their baby. The force of the car finally falling back into place pushed Ziva's hand from Tony's but she still sunk her nails into the top of his hand, never wanting to let go, but it helplessly fell away from hers.

As the darkness soon overtook her, she felt Tony who had barely come out of unconsciousness, try to hold back onto her hand but it listlessly slipped away as he fell back away into his own world of darkness—into the unknown. The last thing she felt was her baby and it was then and there she knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

* * *

While Susan was flipping through some final paperwork for the night, her office's phone rang. "This is Dr. Gable."

_"Hello, doctor. This is Amy from emergency. Do you have a patient named Ziva David?"_

At the sound of the agent's name, the doctor perked up. "Yes, I do. What's the matter?"

_"She is down here. She was just in a car accident. We looked up her file and she doesn't have anyone listed as next of kin. When we realized you were her physician…well, we hoped you come down and vouch for her?"_

Putting a hand to her face, she tried to stay positive but was quite frankly very worried for her and the baby that the agent just recently found out she had. "I'll be right down."

Quickly putting her file back into the nearby cabinet, Susan ran to the closest elevator, praying everything would turn out for the best.

* * *

Once Susan reached the first floor and made it to emergency, she ran down the main hall to the nurse's station. Spotting the tall, blond-haired nurse, Susan veered towards her. "Amy! Where is Ziva?"

Without even taking the time to exchange pleasantries, Amy led the way to a corner area where Tony and Ziva were being tended to. Tony was beginning to come out of unconsciousness while two nurses were setting and casting his broken left arm while another was placing a warm cloth on Ziva's head, as well as wiping away some blood from various cuts.

Susan pulled back the curtain around the two partners and looked directly to Ziva then to the nurse leaning over her. "How is she?"

The nurse looked up with a positive smile on her face. "They are both doing just fine. Besides his broken arm and nose plus her dislocated shoulder plus a few cuts, scrapes, and bruises on both, they were very lucky."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Susan picked up Ziva's newly written out chart. After scanning it, she wrinkled her brow. "Wait a minute, there is no record of her baby. I guess she didn't make the appointment with her obstetrician after all." The doctor mused.

All of the nurses' heads soon shot up towards Susan and Amy was the first to break the silence. "Ba—baby?" she stuttered.

With even more voices invading his sleep, Tony soon became aware of his surroundings just in time to hear what would come next.

Susan's eyes soon widened. "Yes, Ziva is pregnant!" she said with a worried and shocked tone.

As the nurses began quickly scurrying around, checking Ziva for the baby, Tony's heart and mind were soon frazzled.

_"Baby? Ziva is pregnant? Whose is it?"_ Right then, his heart stopped—the world stopped.

_"Could it be mine? The timing is right. Could it actually be that him and Ziva were going to have a baby together?"_

Everything finally made sense to him. Why she had been acting so strange, why the sudden liking to loose clothes came about, why she wouldn't drink any alcohol. Why a million things were the way they were—the way they had been.

Tony's mind had only been functioning for a few moments to remember what had happened—the crash, the handholding, the "I love you,"—before he had heard Ziva was pregnant. Now taking in all of this news at a million miles per second was beginning to catch up to him but under the circumstances, he was doing just fine.

With a smile on the inside, thoughts kept rushing through every inch of his mind.

_"Would it be a boy or a girl? What would all of this mean for his relationship with Ziva—their relationship. Does this mean that they'd finally have a life together?"_

As his mind kept going at full force, he hadn't noticed that Ziva had been crudely woken up by nurses checking to see if the baby had survived. Almost the second she became aware of her _own_ surroundings, she saw a nurse just turning and walking away from her with what looked to her to be a ball of blood.

It was then she realized that her jeans had been pulled away and there was blood all over the end of the bed she was lying on.

Quickly putting a hand to her womb and shooting a panicked look to Tony who was just as worried as her, Ziva's fears were confirmed. With her face soon losing any color it had left, she hastily, yet shakily stood, pulled on her blood-stained pants while biting back the pain shooting from her shoulder, then ran down the crowded hall. Though his head was pulsing, his arm screaming with pain, and his hopes severely and utterly crushed, Tony climbed off his bed and quickly followed after his girl.

Tony couldn't imagine what she was going through. After knowing she was pregnant, not telling anyone that he knew of, and then being in a car accident, he knew he had to be her rock no matter how bad he was hurting. Catching a glimpse of Ziva's hair flying around the next corner, he put a spring in his step to catch up to her, pushing past others.

Seeing her walk into one of the multiple elevators, he quickly slipped into it and right as it started moving, he carefully leaned over her then flipped the emergency switch. For nearly a minute, they both stayed eerily silent, first trying to register what had happened just moments before then not knowing what to say.

Finally gathering enough strength to speak, Ziva turned her body towards Tony but still kept her head to the floor. "I am sorry I did not tell you. I had no intention of hurting you," she said softly. Holding back tears that desperately needed to be shed, Ziva continued. "I—I," she stuttered as the tears began streaming down her face. "I was going to tell you right before we—before the crash."

Though Ziva tried to continue apologizing for something that was not her fault, she began to choke on her own tears that were stemmed with hurt and agony.

Gently putting a hand on her shoulder, Tony stopped her from trying to continue. "Ziva," he began shakily, still not certain of what he'd say, though he wanted to say so much—to comfort her, to say everything would be okay. "I don't blame you— for anything," he said sadly. "We _will_ get through this together. That is, if you want to."

Ziva looked up at him then shook her head. "How can you act like this? Why do you care so much?"

"Because," he smiled softly. "You are the one person I've leaned on in these past eight years and you know what? They've been the best eight years of my life. We shared a little life together, maybe not for long, but we did." Tony looked lovingly down into Ziva's deep, troubled eyes which were still crying tears of despair.

Putting a hand to her cheek, Tony leaned over a bit, being careful of his broken nose, and began kissing her tears away.

Ziva stood still in complete shock, feeling Tony's soft lips against her salty skin, which were being ever so careful and tender.

The day's events suddenly caught up to Ziva and her exhausted body nearly fell against Tony's. She snuggled against his chest and grasped into his shirt, taking comfort in the warmth of his body and his heartbeat.

Once Tony moved his hand from her cheek and around to her back, he let his own tears fall, full of pain and guilt—not understanding why this had happened. They'd already been through enough pain, why something else? It wasn't fair—life wasn't fair.

The two just stood there in the dark elevator, letting all of their emotions be wrenched out together, but they stayed as close to each other as possible, never wanting to let go.

* * *

Though the next couple of weeks were hard, Tony stayed as close to Ziva as he could, but still tried to give her as much space as she needed.

As much as he pleaded with her not to, Ziva still insisted on going into work for she was determined to catch Bodnar—for not only killing her father, but now her own child. He had messed up so much of her life and she wasn't about to let him get away with it. She had to get revenge.

During those couple of weeks, her physical pain eventually went away, but her emotional pain, like the doctor had said, ended up being much, much harder to get through and move on from. She knew that she wouldn't have made it through some of the worst nights without Tony just in the next room to come in and sing softly to her, gently stroking her hair until she fell back to sleep.

* * *

When the NCIS team had finally tracked down Bodnar, Tony and Ziva had nothing but vengeance in their hearts. While everyone was still looking for this man, Ziva spent all the time she possibly could in the NCIS gym, punching out all of her anger and sadness with feelings of remorse and grief.

The first clue Ziva got to where Ilan was hiding, she hurriedly slipped away to the docks where he was. It didn't take long for her to apprehend the man and begin to release all of her pent-up anger and pain onto this cruel person who had done this to her and Tony—to what could have been their family.

After pointing a gun towards Bodnar and chasing him onto the ship's deck, the fight for what life she had left began. Ziva's skills as well as endurance were soon put to the test by the struggle with Bodnar since they both had been given the same training.

Even with slamming his head into an iron bar multiple times, his stubbornness showed and in return he violently struck her face, splitting her lip. Quickly following him up the ladder with determination set in her eyes, she pounced on him, not ready to give up. Grabbing a nearby screwdriver, she tried to stab him but Bodnar kept fighting, grasping on to all the strength he had left.

Faster than Ziva could blink, Bodnar was on top of her and after grabbing the screwdriver away from her, trying to gouge her with it in hand. For a split second, she remembered him with her father, trying to be his son, trying to be a part of the family and now what he was doing made her sick. With that memory pulling her forward, she pushed him off of her, snatched up a fire extinguisher then slammed it into his head, showing absolutely no mercy—she never saw a reason why she should.

By then, Gibbs, Tony, and McGee were pulling up at the docks since they'd found that Ziva was missing from her desk.

Almost instantaneously, Ziva and Ilan were both back onto their feet, still fighting it out to the death. Bodnar soon got a rush of adrenaline and with all of his might he kicked Ziva in the gut. She stumbled back, shocked from the searing pan rushing through her. Though she was mostly healed, anything too sudden or harsh hurt her and with that kind of blow she didn't know if she would be able to muster enough strength to continue—to even save her own life.

_"Maybe it'd be better if I just let him kill me, maybe it'd be better for Tony. Then he wouldn't have to take care of me—to deal with me, to feel obliged to since it was his baby."_

Those thoughts were quickly pushed aside as she instantly jumped back into the fight but fear glazed her eyes as she saw a blur of him picking up a chain that was put harshly and tightly around her neck.

She whelped in pain as it was pulled tighter and tighter until she was afraid her neck would snap. At first she had been struggling for breaths but now any chance of breathing was gone. Ziva hurriedly put her hands to her neck, pulling against the cold, metal chain but her eyes widened with fear when it wouldn't budge.

_"No, she couldn't die now. Along with wanting to stay alive, she needed to stay alive for Tony and for the remembrance of the baby she never met."_

After letting out another cry of agony and bringing any strength she had left to the surface, she heaved Bodnar over her and pushed him onto the floor.

Even with her shoulder still pulsing and screaming with pain, she pulled up onto a bar attached to the ceiling up ahead and with all of her might she wrapped her legs around Bodnar's neck and pushed him back onto the floor where she wished he'd stay.

Making sure he would stay, she straddled him and let every ounce of frustration, anger, and pain out on him.

Somehow he made his way back to his feet but she wouldn't have it, not again. This had to end. She tried to pull out her handcuffs, she had to arrest him—make him pay for what he did— but with him throwing another punch, Ziva threw one back with incomprehensible strength and it flung him over the side of the ship where he fell onto a shipping pallet, ending the struggle once and for all.

Ziva couldn't believe her eyes when she realized what had happened. Running to look over the side where he had fallen to his death, she was then able to breathe a sigh of relief. She was finally able to close this chapter, he was gone and she was still there—alive and breathing.

Looking over on the gangway where Gibbs, Tony, and McGee stood, completely shocked, she wasn't quite sure how to feel. All she knew was she finally had her revenge and justice had been served.

* * *

As the next months went by, Tony and Ziva began to spend more and more time together. The two began to share their thoughts and most importantly, their feelings. They had their ups and downs in the those months, still getting over the trauma of the beginning of the year and on but for the most part, things were looking up and Tony was itching to start a life with Ziva—a life full of happiness and laughter, a new beginning.

When the Christmas season started to creep up on them, Tony or Ziva could hardly believe it. It was nearing a year since they'd lost their baby, a child that even though never lived on the earth had still changed their lives forever.

Even though it had only been a year, Tony and Ziva had both grown up so much, as well as towards each other. Though it had been extremely hard for Ziva, she made it through the hard days and Tony had always been there right around the bend, ready to hold her and tell her she made it through another day.

Through that year, they both finally understood what their relationship meant and with that had brought an even better partnership than before. Since theirs was one of the best in the agency, people took notice of the improvement along with Gibbs.

Their boss had been watching this new relationship come about in the last few months and though he wasn't sure, nor was anyone else sure, what brought it on, he was very curious to see if Tony would do anything about it.

After waiting month after month, Gibbs wasn't sure what he could be waiting for. He could very clearly see the love in both Tony and Ziva's eyes and it hurt him to see day after day go by without them a permanent fixture in the other's life. It was when he saw them, he saw Shannon and himself, he saw the same love and happiness—the same tenderness and care.

Not about to see another day go by, especially a day before Christmas, Gibbs pulled Tony aside to the back of the stairs. "DiNozzo," he said to the confused agent. "What are you going to do about Ziva?"

Tony cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Letting out a deep breath, he smiled sheepishly at Gibbs. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes," Gibbs said with a smirk. "Now, when are you going to do something about it?"

Rubbing his neck thoughtfully, Tony looked to his boss. "I've wanted to do something about it since we lost the—since the crash," he said, quickly catching himself.

They had both promised each other they wouldn't tell anyone about the baby so they'd have a fresh start and neither thought anyone would particularly understand their reasoning. Perhaps they didn't quite clearly understand them either, but all they knew for sure is that they cared for one another.

"Well you'd better do something soon then."

"What?" Tony said, shocked that Gibbs was going back on rule twelve.

Giving his senior agent a nod of his head, Gibbs went back to his desk, leaving Tony to think over his options.

A while later, Tony went through the bullpen once the clock hit 6pm announcing he was going to his apartment to get _"It's a Wonderful Life"_ and to meet him in MTAC.

Making the short drive to his apartment and grabbing the disc, he went over to the Christmas tree that him and Ziva had put up last weekend then reached for the small, wrapped box that he had put underneath for her to find tomorrow morning.

Excitedly, yet nervously, taking the ring box in hand, he quickly headed back to NCIS.

Seeing that the bullpen was empty, Tony ran up the stairs, gained access into MTAC then walked inside, keeping his eyes focused onto Ziva.

Handing McGee the disc, Tony looked back into Ziva's eyes that were now filled with light, once again, to match her shining smile.

When Gibbs noticed Tony was holding the ring box behind his back, he swelled with pride then called everyone out of the room. Ziva began to follow her boss' orders but Tony grabbed her hand and sat them down in the front row.

"What's going on?"

Taking her hand, Tony bit his lip. "Ziva, do you love me? I mean really love me, not just feel obliged to."

A smile soon spread across her face. "Yes, I do love you!" she said sincerely and happily.

Being able to now breathe a sigh of relief, he moved down onto one knee and Ziva let out a gasp. "Zi, we've been through so much in these past few years, especially this last one," he said with a tinge of sadness. "In that crash I tried to hold on to you, to never let you go, but I did. It was something I couldn't help, but now I have no excuses. I don't think I'll be able to spend another day without you and I know I should have done this sooner but," pausing to take the box out of his suit pocket and opening it in front of her he smiled then continued. "Ziva David, will you marry me?"

A tear of happiness escaped down Ziva's cheek but she quickly wiped it away and excitedly shook her head. "Yes!" she laughed with joy. "Yes, I will marry you!"

Tony's heart leaped with excitement as he resumed his spot on the chair next to her. After slipping the ring onto her finger, they leaned their foreheads against the other. Once they shared a soft kiss, Ziva pulled him in for a hug, taking comfort in him—just as she had done nearly a year ago, though this embrace was filled with happiness, not despair.

Returning the embrace, Tony wrapped his strong arms around her and began to rub her back. Leaning her head against his, she smiled then whispered. "Don't let go."


End file.
